Away from the manger

Daniel Nasaw of the Guardian reports today that thefts of baby Jesus figurines are sweeping the U.S.:

Over the past month, pranksters have nabbed dozens of baby Jesus figurines from public and private displays across the US.

To some of us, that's as normal as the giant inflatable Frosty who billows from our neighbor's yard into our nightmares. To some of us, that's as normal as the commercialization of Christmas which makes fruitcake taste so good.

Wait a sec, let's not get holier-than-thou. Supply is driven by demand, no? Capitalism to a point spurs innovation and creativity, right?

To help victims recover their infant saviours, a New York company earlier this month offered to install GPS tracking devices inside nativity figurines and Menorahs to help churches and synagogues find purloined pieces.

Saved, not by God!

Or were they?

After stealing the religious articles, some of the perpetrators were apparently struck with remorse, confessing or returning the goods.

The company also offers products such as Catch Your Cheating Spouse (a home-kit of dubious science, designed for use by men) and a Professional Voice Transformer (lets you change your voice to that of a robot or desired sex or age, all of which are eary, er, eerie). I hope the latter calls all whistle-blower wannabes. Did we mention that the establishment news outlet NBC Los Angeles featured the company more than it should have in its piece on "counter-surveillance personal technologies" and privacy? We wish it weren't true.

Merry rest-of-Christmas.